You know what my dad wanted for dinner last night? A burger. What did my brother want? Bacon. And what did I want? Avocado, (naturally). So, we whipped up this little guy right here. Or more appropriately, this delicious monster. I wish you could’ve seen me try to cram this tower of beef, cheese, onion, tomato, bacon, avocado, and lettuce … (pause for air) … into my mouth. I felt a little bit like Andrew Zimmern and a lotta bit like a person who eats unattractively and makes delicious food look less appealing. Or are those the same people.
Cheese spread onto both the top and bottom of a roasted Kaiser roll had the same effect that mayonnaise has on a Jimmy John’s Beach Club (that’s a #12, for those wondering). It seems that, whenever I order one of these, alfalfa sprouts and turkey seem to find their way out of the bread and onto the table after each unsupervised bite (and I’m supervising with my hands, by the way. Though a catchers mitt might produce better results). Toppings have yet to get lost on their trip out of my sandwich. It’s without fail. Which, I suppose, would be okay if the mayonnaise went with it. Then we could consider this vanishing act my waistline’s guardian angel. Instead, it usually happens in such a way that I am left with a white bun slathered in mayo. And 3 to 4 sprouts. …for color.
Anyway, this burger will be hanging out in your lap (and in your guests’) if not approached with caution. I recommend you to watch Man -vs- Food, observe Andrew’s expertise, and prepare to imitate the Vulcan burger-grip that he demonstrates during his many burger battles. Imitate his masticating techniques, however, and you may be disqualified from life. Or at least the relationship you’re in. Try to pay close attention to his hands only, and if your eyes wander northward to a face full of condiments, don’t say I haven’t warned you. It’s not a pretty sight. But no hard feelings, Andrew, you are an inspiration. To some, anyway.
BLT Burgers with Caramelized Onions and Avocado
(Makes 6 big-ol’ burgers – recipe adapted from Clint Stephenson)
1 large sweet onion, thinly sliced
1 tbs. Franks hot sauce
1. tbs. brown sugar
2 tbs. balsamic
1 tbs. olive oil
1 tbs. garlic
6 ounces spreadable garlic & herb cheese
4-5 ounces blue cheese
1 pound ground chuck
1 pound ground sirloin
1/2 cup minced onion
1/4 cup Zinfandel
1 tbs. Franks hot sauce
Sea salt and pepper
2 tbs. Emeril’s BAM Burger seasoning (or any burger seasoning, spicy seasoned salt, etc.)
3 tbs. oregano, thyme, basil (fresh, if possible)
3-4 avocados, sliced
12 bacon slices (pre-cooked is easiest)
Lettuce leaves and tomato slices
Kaiser rolls or burger buns
Preheat a gas grill to medium-high heat. Start by placing the onion slices, 1 tbs. hot sauce, 1 tbs. balsamic vinegar, oil, garlic, and sugar in a skillet. Cover and let cook over over medium-low heat for 15-20 minutes until caramelized.
Meanwhile, place beef, minced onion, wine, herbs, 1 tbs. of hot sauce, and salt and pepper in a bowl. Mix well, avoiding compacting the meat. Divide equally into 6 patties. Brush grill rack with vegetable oil and place burgers, turning only once, until done to your liking, 5-7 minutes. Flipping only once makes for an evenly-cooked burger and prevents overcooked areas.
About 4 minutes before burgers are done, place cheese in a saucepan and melt to combine. Put in a condiment bowl and allow to cool slightly. As burgers and onions near completion, place avocado slices on tin foil and brush with 1 tbs. balsamic vinegar. Sprinkle with Hamburger seasoning. Grill 1-2 minutes. Place bacon on avocados and heat about 30 seconds. Toast buns if desire (trust me, you desire it). Spread cheese on top and bottom of your burger bun. Stack as shown. Enjoy. And try to avoid getting burger on your face :).
*Wine pairing- Zinfandel
dish & tell 
